Whut plum Happened? ah’ mean, real, dun did whut ah’ plum see real occur? Marvin once ax’ed, “Whut’s Goin’ On?” and ah’ have no idea no mo’! Right on! Lil’ Tony cured me, but now ah’ wish ah’ wuz still crazy, cuz’ din’s made mo’e sense den. Slap mah fro!
We went t’rescue Penelope, some honkyfool’s mission wid no reason, as ah’ have said befo’e! Right on! Why do dey neva’ listen t’me, even dough it gots been proven dat ah’ am right every time? Why gots one honky chick when ya’ kin gots hundreds- and wid Niko’s looks, he kin definitely gots hundreds! Right on! So, it wuz some trap, uh course, set down by none oda’ dan Vlad! You’s knowed dat had t’be da damn case- why else would all dese Broderhood dudes keep fightin’ afta’ we trashed Remmy and mosey on down back fo’ mo’e if dey wuz not bein’ mind controlled. We barely gots out uh dere wid our bodies, again, dis time cuz’ we retreated- well, all uh us but Buddy. Slap mah fro! ah’ would say he needed his haid ‘esamined, but dat would indicate he had some brain. ’S coo’, bro. Somehow, maybe cuz’ he wuz in Dragon fo’m (yep, Alice done gave him some rin’ t’make him some dragon), he gots Penelope and gots out wid us. We went t’Alice’s realm, and healed down, digtin’ some mo’e toys. She may end down bein’ ok- o’ maybe mah’ fust instincts wuz right, and she gots’ta be da damn dead uh us all. Oh yeah, and Penelope wuz plum a bomb- so’s we went drough all dat fo’ nodin’- see whut happens Niko when ya’ focus on only one doodad?
I tried t’hustle da damn group out uh dere- afta’ all, we wuz goin’ afta’ Alucard, wid Vlad right on our heels. He had said as much when we wuz in front uh him! Right on! We had already seen dat time passed differently in Alice’s realm, but dey wants’ed t’lolygag… Again, not listenin’ t’me…
We finally dig back, and days gots passed. ah’ call down some fine yung doodads and da damn jeeps again- and we haid on down de mountains. ah’ crushed some Policia’s jeep fo’ followin’ us, and we make it t’de base uh de mountain. ‘S coo’, bro. Now, dey learned about dis place when ah’ wuz not in mah’ right mind, relegated t’guardin’ some boat in China. WORD! Niko and mah’ main joker Raves had all de info. ‘S coo’, bro… which dey neglected t’share wid McPhee and I! Preach it loud, bruddah! Startin’ t’feel likes dere be some Beast bias wid dose two! Right on! So, we dig t’de entrance uh de caves wid no gear! Right on! At least one uh us knows how t’dink on our feet- McPhee raps about free climbin’ t’some actual mountaineers. ah’ snatch his lead and disappear into one uh de oda’ entrances- “free climbin’” in bat fo’m- and waitin’ fo’ dem t’come t’us- ah’ am some bit hungry! Right on!
Long sto’y sho’ter, we dig in front uh Alucard- and one uh my “homeys” menshuns Alice- Great. Man!… So’s now de cat be out uh de bag, we is surrounded, and Alucard be goin’ off about da damn Devil Witch. Lop some boogie….
What just Happened? I mean, really, did what I just see really occur? Marvin once asked, “What’s Going On?” and I have no idea anymore! Lil’ Tony cured me, but now I wish I was still crazy, because things made more sense then.
We went to rescue Penelope, a fool’s mission with no reason, as I have said before! Why do they never listen to me, even though it has been proven that I am right every time? Why have one woman when you can have hundreds- and with Niko’s looks, he can definitely have hundreds! So, it was a trap, of course, set up by none other than Vlad! You knew that had to be the case- why else would all these Brotherhood dudes keep fighting after we trashed Remmy and come back for more if they were not being mind controlled. We barely got out of there with our bodies, again, this time because we retreated- well, all of us but Buddy. I would say he needed his head examined, but that would indicate he had a brain. Somehow, maybe because he was in Dragon form (yep, Alice done gave him a ring to make him a dragon), he got Penelope and got out with us. We went to Alice’s realm, and healed up, getting some more toys. She may end up being ok- or maybe my first instincts were right, and she will be the death of us all. Oh yeah, and Penelope was just a bomb- so we went through all that for nothing- see what happens Niko when you focus on only one thing?
I tried to hustle the group out of there- after all, we were going after Alucard, with Vlad right on our heels. He had said as much when we were in front of him! We had already seen that time passed differently in Alice’s realm, but they wanted to lolygag… Again, not listening to me…
We finally get back, and days have passed. I call up some fine young things and the jeeps again- and we head on up the mountains. I crushed a Policia’s jeep for following us, and we make it to the base of the mountain. Now, they learned about this place when I was not in my right mind, relegated to guarding a boat in China. Niko and my main man Raves had all the info… which they neglected to share with McPhee and I!! Starting to feel like there is some Beast bias with those two! So, we get to the entrance of the caves with no gear! At least one of us knows how to think on our feet- McPhee talks about free climbing to some actual mountaineers. I take his lead and disappear into one of the other entrances- “free climbing” in bat form- and waiting for them to come to us- I am a bit hungry!
Long story shorter, we get in front of Alucard- and one of my “friends” mentions Alice- Great…. So now the cat is out of the bag, we are surrounded, and Alucard is going off about the Devil Witch….
What’s Going ON?