Well, dat wuz an…. ’espuh’ience? ah’ whup’ some God at cards, and ah’ am still alive! Right on! Let me ’esplain….
Alice seems t’be unda’ attack! Slap mah ‘fro! Wid dat, we is ready t’battle fo’ her! Right on! ah’ know ah’ used t’call ha’ a bitch, but she seems t’have redeemed herself quite some bit, and she gots de greatest pet ever, Rooster. Ah be baaad… Anyways, since Lil’ Tony cured me uh my crazy ah’ have been some little mo’e open. ‘S coo’, bro. Rappin’ uh crazy, Bloodlo’dess Mila went back into ha’ crazy wid de attack. Ya’ know? She started screamin’, “Get me out uh here,” and generally actin’ likes de child dat she used to. ‘S coo’, bro. So, we tried t’boogie- and dat’s when it all went truly crazy! ’Lop me some boogie!
We ran into Oogie Boogie! Right on! Yep, straight out uh dat old movie! Right on! He made crazy an art fo’m! Right on! If ah’ wuz not sho’ man he wuz tryin’ t’kill us, ah’ would gots been laughin’. Dis, however, wuz no laughin’ matter! Clot! He had magic chains, and everyone tried t’slice him, burn him, do oda’ din’s t’him, well, all but Niko. ‘S coo’, bro. Yet Niko suffered plum likes de rest uh us. ah’ seemed t’be da damn only one hangin’ damage, a’cuz, well, ah’ am Willie- ah’ wuz usin’ mah’ special fo’schizzle attack. Ya’ know? Even ah’ gave down when he left da damn room and wuz fully healed. Clot!
I challenged Oogie t’a game uh poker. Ah be baaad… ah’ even tried mah’ fine sexy boogie t’drow him off his game. ah’ dink it wo’ked, cuz’ he lost! Right on! Of course, bein’ some so’e loser, he overturned da damn table and put us upside some pit, lowerin’ us wid de magic chains. Clot! It wuz all out uh dat movie- includin’ de part when Buckwheat ummm…. Jack…. showed down t’save us! Right on!
So, it turns out dat Oogie wuz some god dojiggerd Exu, and Buckwheat/Jack wuz some goddess dojiggerd Yemanja. WORD! Dey is bod part uh de NikoPandeon uh Batuque. Neva’ heard uh it? Well, ya’ need t’journey waaay down t’Soud America, cuz’ Willie had! Right on! Yemanja kicked Exu away, and introduced us t’ha’ husband, Olokun. ‘S coo’, bro.
Now Gods, and Histo’y, and stuff likes dat be my joker Raves dang, so’s I let him go t’it. Man! Yep, De Willie went into de background. Bottom line- some sucka in deir pandeon be summonin’ some real baaaad moda’ clotters called Night Lo’ds, and we gots’ta stop de followers fum hangin’ dis! Right on! New quest, new baaaad dudes.
Only one doodad be boderin’ me- where da damn Clot dun did Mila go?
Log from the upcoming book, “The Eloquent Stylings of Willie Dynamite” by Willie Dynamite.
Picture by Austen Mengler.
Well, that was an…. experience? I beat a God at cards, and I am still alive! Let me explain….
Alice seems to be under attack! With that, we are ready to battle for her! I know I used to call her a bitch, but she seems to have redeemed herself quite a bit, and she has the greatest pet ever, Rooster. Anyways, since Lil’ Tony cured me of my crazy I have been a little more open. Speaking of crazy, Bloodlordess Mila went back into her crazy with the attack. She started screaming, “Get me out of here,” and generally acting like the child that she used to. So, we tried to boogie- and that’s when it all went truly crazy!
We ran into Oogie Boogie! Yep, straight out of that old movie! He made crazy an art form! If I was not sure he was trying to kill us, I would have been laughing. This, however, was no laughing matter! He had magic chains, and everyone tried to slice him, burn him, do other things to him, well, all but Niko. Yet Niko suffered just like the rest of us. I seemed to be the only one doing damage, because, well, I am Willie- I was using my special spirit attack. Even I gave up when he left the room and was fully healed.
I challenged Oogie to a game of poker. I even tried my sexy dance to throw him off his game. I think it worked, because he lost! Of course, being a sore loser, he overturned the table and put us over some pit, lowering us with the magic chains. It was all out of that movie- including the part when Jack showed up to save us!
So, it turns out that Oogie was a god named Exu, and Jack was a goddess named Yemanja. They are both part of the Pantheon of Batuque. Never heard of it? Well, you need to journey down to South America, because Willie had! Yemanja kicked Exu away, and introduced us to her husband, Olokun.
Now Gods, and History, and stuff like that is my man Raves thang, so I let him go to it. Yep, The Willie went into the background. Bottom line- someone in their pantheon is summoning some really bad mother clotters called Night Lords, and we have to stop the followers from doing this! New quest, new bad guys.
Only one thing is bothering me- where the Clot did Mila go?